What's love got to do with it?

There are so many ideas about love, but what is love and what does it have to do with a relationship?

Love is a lot of things. In Greek, there are multiple words for love that help differentiate what someone means. When you tell someone you love them, the question is how, as a friend, family, or romantically. For the sake of time, let's just talk about romantic love. 

Romantic love is the acknowledgment of a heart condition where your needs are second to another. A deeper connection built upon a foundation of friendship. Our brains builds pathways of familiarity with friends, and over time, these pathways become more ingrained within us. One way to think of this is digging a hole, the longer you're digging the deeper it gets and soon you're in it so deep you're completely in this hole you've dug. Love is patient. It love develops over time, where every stroke of the shovel brings you closer to a bigger hole. 

Romantic love must be united. As the hole gets bigger there are a few options: stick with this hole even if the dirt is firm and rocky or move onto fertile ground. This decision is harder than you think and comes from a few factors: commitment level, time frame, values and heart. If you and your s/o are not on the same page then what is dating for? Know what you want out of a relationship.

**Values should come before heart in a relationship. Especially religious values. If you and your s/o do not believe the same religious things this will stand in the way as long as one or both of you have these differing values and the relationship will not stand. Values need to come before feelings.

Commitment and Gilmore Girls

Commitment comes in stages, especially with Rory's relationships:

1. Hey, I just met you and this is crazy we've been dating 3 months and I'll see you tonight maybe. (0 - 6 months) -- Jess

2. Hey hon, bring some tampons and chocolate over with you because I'm on my period. (6 - 18 months) -- Dean

3. So, you've been dating for how long, and you guys haven't made plans to get Married? (18 - 36 months) (this also includes anyone who has no intention of marriage) -- Logan

Commitment is defined as "the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc." When in a committed relationship you are dedicated to your s/o for one purpose, to see if you guys could get married. Dating should be intentional, with the intention being to get married. If marriage isn't something that isn't on the table then why are you digging a huge hole that will be crazy hard to get out of? Emotions aren't easy to deal with, but if you are committed to someone then be there, be dedicated. 

Logan from Gilmore Girls is a great example of this. When he chooses to be Rory's boyfriend, he is dedicated. He spends the next 2 ish years pursing her until he is ready to marry her, and then when he gets rejected he LEAVES. That is the healthiest thing that he could have done.

Commitment is needed for a "safe" relationship. In order for someone to be all in they have to feel secure within the relationship.


But if you really want to watch more Gilmore Girls you should check out my friend Darien's blog: http://starshollowtherapy.blogspot.com/ She does a fantastic job, no matter what mood you are in!